More than twenty years ago, I moved to Costa Rica. I lived there for several years, in part to research what would become my 432-page guide for people who wanted to do the same.
As David and I contemplate a move from San Francisco to Silver City, New Mexico, I look back at the advice I gave to potential relocators, and try to take my own advice, this time applied to moving within rather than out of the US. Maybe you’re considering a move, too, and could you these reminders.
Rent before you buy
I was shocked by the number of people who bought a house while vacationing in Costa Rica for the first time. They knew virtually nothing about the country or day-to-day life in the place where they’d just put down the most expensive kind of roots. I was well acquainted with the impulse to pick up and move across the country—or world—if I “had feelings,” as the kids say. Any kind of emotional discomfort, that is. But buying a place wasn’t part of that impulse, perhaps because I didn’t have the money.
These days, David and I could afford something modest (nothing in the Bay Area, to be sure). We scour real estate sites, sending each other links to properties in Silver (as locals call it). Our subject lines read “Oh Yeah,” or “THIS!” It might be a 7-acre spread outside of town or a grand mansion in town that would be perfect for a writers retreat (after you spent a few million in repairs). On our most recent visit, we looked into realtors, did drive-bys of houses for sale, and learned that many people find their new homes through friends or acquaintances.
We have been sorely tempted, and we feel ready to make a big decision. In fact we crave a big change. On this visit, though, we had to admit that, even though we’ve visited many times and done our homework, we’re not ready to buy. It’s about family, friends, medical care, and jobs—you know, minor issues. ;) We decided that our next visit to Silver will be of several months duration, at a time of year we haven’t yet experienced, and that we will rent.
I’ve had to take my own advice to others: Slow your roll, girl.
BYOJ
Bring your own job (easier now with the internet). If you can’t BYOJ, BYOM: Bring your own money. Places that have affordable real estate don’t often have thriving economies or well-paid jobs. Lucky for me, much of what I do I can do remotely: write, edit, research, and teach.
Be sure your partner is on board.
I met many couples who moved to Costa Rica in spite of a dream gap: one dreamed of living in Costa Rica; the other didn’t. Things didn’t usually go well for them.
I first saw Silver City in the 1990s, and thought, I could live here. There have been many a boyfriends under the bridge since then. Only for David have I changed the pronoun from I to we.
We could live here. A few years back I convinced him to visit. I was on tenterhooks: would he like it? Would he see the town’s potential? Thank the relocation gods, he did. He does.
Consider your role in the new place
In Living Abroad in Costa Rica, I advised readers to think about the role they’d play in their new community. “What will you do there,” I wrote. “Who will you be there? The owner of a thriving business that employs dozens of locals? The founder of the town library? Or the sour-faced gringo on the hill who complains about the road and starts drinking at breakfast? Such considerations are not solely altruistic. It’s well known that to successfully relocate, a person must forge new roles and new relation ships.”
During our recent visit to Silver, I taught a writing class through WILL, a lifelong learning organization affiliated with the town’s university. (https://www.will.community/#/about) I’d pitched them a class because I wanted to see what sort of folks would turn out for it. I couldn’t have been happier with the results. It was good to offer something to the community (WILL teachers aren’t paid), and the students were talented, interesting, and generous people.
This was a way to test the waters, both in terms of the arts community and what role I might play in town. I also attended the Fiesta of Words, and took in some wonderful panels and talks. I’ve posted a bit about that literary festival on Facebook.
Don’t hold your breath
I’ve been putting off buying a new rug and asking the landlord to fix the window in our current San Francisco apartment, thinking, Who knows how long we’ll even be here? But this last trip to Silver made me realize that our San Francisco life is good, even if there’s a move on the horizon. Why put your life on hold just because you’re thinking about a change? Keep living and breathing, deeply, exactly where you are.
Dream versus reality
After out latest visit to Silver, we feel both closer and further from our dream of living in Silver. Closer because we’re zeroing in on the reality of the place—the good and the bad—and we still like it. Further because the real possibility of moving there is beginning to displace the dream. As I wrote in my guide, relocators need to trade the golden dream of living in Costa Rica for the riotously green reality. What color is the reality of living in Silver? I’m hoping it’s a glittering silver, shot through with forest green from the Gila National Forest, topped with a New Mexico blue dome of a sky.
Silver City, New Mexico, by way of Costa Rica
It’s easy to give advice—like the 432 pages of it I wrote in Living Abroad in Costa Rica. What’s harder is to TAKE your own good advice.